In my 18 years of existence I have nearly no contact with my birth father, a man whose intelligence allowed him to build kaleidoscopes from scratch but whose weakness for controlled substances left a wreck. On my last visit to the Frazee Farm in western Maryland, I enjoyed the opportunity to meet and talk with him for several days and, in that time, he passed on to me a silver dollar from 1886 that lay dormant upon his desk for more than a decade. Once a brilliant coin of gleaming silver, now an aged testament to American craftsmanship, the time-worn surfaces, stained with use, as well as this coin’s longevity, remind me often of my father and his life.

The obverse face of this coin, once a gleaming banner for any who would take the time to look at it, has seen the rough treatment of many years placed upon its head. The slogan of our country can still be read as “E Pluribus Unum” as it extends into a dark stained area which encompasses the rear portions of Susan B Anthony’s head. Though it is obvious by the burnished portion of this coin that it has seen many long years, still the face of liberty can be read off the crown and flowing hair can be determined upon her head in reasonable detail. Many of the individual minutiae, inscribed at this coins birth as mere hairlines in the stamped surface, have long since evaporated from the surface of this coin, leaving some smooth areas with little of the original features to be seen. Much as the tides of beer and drugs can impact a human being, the facets of this coin have in some places been stunned out of existence by impact, rubbing, and the exposure to the raw elements over 118 years of existence.

Many amateur collectors, who simply keep coins to appraise them over time and enjoy the fine lines that such coins encompass, often ignore the milled edges that surround and connect the two surfaces. While perhaps the milled surfaces are not important in the use and transaction of this coin, they serve great impact upon the collecting of the coin. It is the milling of this coin’s edges which holds the two faces together. Much like my father, it is the middle of this coin holding together that which can be seen on the obverse face to that which is hidden from view on the reverse. Unfortunately, hidden sides often harbor negative aspects, all too often unknown until the coin is flipped and the downside exposed to the world.

Once the reverse face is exposed to view, it can be seen that this coin has not fared as well as the obverse would attest. A ring of burnished silver, like the black ring surrounding a target, encompasses the picture of the eagle and its olive branches, severing the tips of each wing with darkness. Letters still discernable proclaim this silver piece to be one dollar of the currency of the United States of America, though no longer screaming as they once did. The exposure to the elements, nicks, scratches, gouges in the coin nearly obliterate the “In God We Trust” slogan that flies upon the Eagle’s head and the detail on the Eagle’s body has been worn away with time and touch, nearly smooth now. From the unequal wearing on the faces of this coin, the odds are that it has sat on a shelf on the reverse face for many years, the bright side up, the dark side hidden but still there, unable to brandish one side without exposing the other.

My relationship with my father follows much the same pattern as the physical nature of this coin, one side shining before the world, one side dim with remembrance and marred with time. My father could have been a great man once, possessing an incredible intelligence and the ability to work with his hands to produce such diverse items as knives, calligraphy, glass kaleidoscopes, and hunting arrows. What he could otherwise have done will never be known. However, much like this coin, there is a sense of disappointment when you flip the coin over and discover the darkened side. The gleaming silver has dimmed, the abrasion along life has taken its toll. What the future is for this coin, I have no way of knowing. I have often fancied selling it or trading it in return for a younger coin in better condition though doing so would probably lose some of the things I adore most about the obverse face. No way to clean it, no way to erase the years, still I love this coin which